I’m scared that I’m becoming the kind of person who takes the people I love for granted in a passive way. It’s not enough to leave people with the idea and memory of you loving them. You have to love them. And lately I’ve been making excuses for my passive behavior. Blaming career. The need to succeed. Self actualization. I’m losing balance.

You know I didn’t watch the closer except 6x11 and Sharon’s never brought anyone home except rusty or even like showed a romantic incling for anyone (that I recall from Major Crimes but I mean I did binge watch so I might not be the gospel truth) and I was laying in bed thinking about how alone she must feel. I can’t say I’m convinced that Sharon sees Andy as anything but a friend because deadass she hasn’t shown any real sexual chemistry with anyone not even her husband. But now I’m thinking that after 20 something years of nothing with jack and her playing the religious card in that one conversation and her insane obsession with Christmas angels and her abide the law attitude… It makes me think that Sharon let go of that side of herself that needs sexual companion ship. Meeting rusty and saving the kid changed something. I mean rusty is a great kid but why would she in particular want to take him in and even adopt him? Is the idea of “legalizing” the adoption really what is important to Sharon? Someone who doesn’t even recognize her own legal marriage except when it emotionally hides her in? What was it about him that made something click and unravel in her? More importantly, who was Sharon even, before rusty? Before major crimes or the closer? Shows always tend to give a sense of who their protagonists were before but this show?.

I think major crimes is so interesting in what it carefully chooses to share and not share about Sharon. I was annoyed because sometimes id forget who exactly the main character is in this show but it’s pretty clear if you consider who the binding glue is to the source of conflict in this show. It’s almost rusty but it’s not so much rusty as it is Sharon’s decision to take him in. And now what’s evolving is a part of her life she had buried 6 feet under—making true friendships, finding companionship, maybe romance, and finding love (the really touching heartfelt die for you kind) in a new way through Rusty.

Honestly this show is so cute introduction randy and Sharon’s many dinner dates And shit in this episode and putting in the Easter eggs for who would be shot next episode… I hope it’s Sharon just bc I like the story between her and rusty more than I do with her and randy. I do believe Sharon needs to leave her husband but not until we understand more about why the marriage didn’t work for her and we meet her children like come on!!!!!!!!!! Hashtag is it Monday yet also where is the Spanish DDA I miss her